I have never
by i'll-cover-you-x
Summary: The bohos get together and play 'I have never...' Has some Angel/ Collins fluff.
1. I have never

I have never…

Maureen had come to Collins' and Angel's apartment to discuss another protest with Collins. Mimi there too helping Angel make a new skirt. With so many people homeless Angel didn't feel it was right to spend much money on her clothes.

"Door!" Mimi pointed out rather obviously as someone could be heard knocking on it. This was ignored by the two talking animatedly on the couch. Mimi sighed; they were in the middle of sewing on some sequins and besides the others were right by the door. As the knocking got louder Angel tried,

"Collins baby, could you get the door please?" This had the desired effect as Collins immediately opened the door to find Roger, Joanne and Mark.

"You've got him well trained chica," Mimi giggled.

"So this is where you all are" Mark said as Roger and Joanne each went to greet their respective partners. "Do you guys want to head to the Life?" Mimi's eyes strayed to the window and on seeing the heavy snow falling answered,

"I don't fancy going out in that. Shall we stay here?"

Amidst general agreement Maureen whined, "But what is there to do here?" Collins rolled his eyes at Angel. They both knew Maureen did not mean to be rude.

"Well I've got some Stoli we could…" Collins began,

"Play a drinking game" Maureen finished excitedly, "Let's play I have never"

"What's that?" Joanne asked as the group arranged themselves into a circle.

"You have to say something you've never done and anyone who has done it has to drink." Maureen explained pulling her girlfriend down next to her in the ring. "Who wants to go first?"

Roger offered to and with an evil look at Maureen said, "I have never mooned anyone."

"Fine, pick on me!" Maureen sighed dramatically reaching for the bottle. Mimi and Collins also drank.

"I have never played a musical instrument" Collins retorted, realising his mistake when he turned to see Angel pouting up at him. "Shit! I meant played the guitar" he hurriedly corrected himself.

"Too late!" Mimi shouted gleefully pushing the Stoli towards Angel.

"What about the cowbell?" Mark piped up as Roger also drank.

"Doesn't count" Maureen replied decisively.

As Roger had already had a go he gestured to Angel to continue. Collins groaned as he saw her looking thoughtfully at him and reached for the drink in preparation.

"I have never been arrested" she said smiling sweetly at him. Collins drank and passed it straight to Maureen before they both high-fived. "What a protest that was!" Maureen exclaimed.

"Until I had to sort out your release" Joanne muttered. Maureen moved over to her and putting her arm around her whispered "good job I'm worth it pookie" in her ear. Joanne tried to remain detached whilst Maureen trailed kisses from her ear to her lips. Yet when Maureen traced her lips with her tongue she gave in and opened her mouth allowing the kiss to deepen.

Seeing Mark was getting uncomfortable Roger cleared his throat loudly causing the kiss to end. Noticing the two people yet to drink Collins evilly said "I have never dated Maureen."

Mark groaned as he took a drink, trying to ignore the pitying look Joanne gave him as he passed her the bottle. Glaring at Collins he responded "I have never gotten so high that I locked myself out of my apartment in the middle of the night… naked."

"You promised not to tell!" Collins gasped. It had been a couple of years ago when Collins had still been living with Mark, Roger and Benny. After pounding on the door for what felt like hours Mark had finally let him in – thankfully without his camera in hand for once. Mark had promised never to mention it if he did Marks' chores for the month; looks like he needn't have bothered.

Luckily Maureen interrupted here realising that it was her game and she still hadn't had a turn. "I have never cross-dressed" she called, the vodka making her even louder than usual. Angel drank a double amount of the Stoli to account for the amount of cross dressing she did and was preparing to think of a round when Mark and Roger both reached for the bottle.

There was a moment's silence with all eyes on the two friends expecting an explanation. A staring match ensued before Roger dropped his gaze and shared a glance with Mark. "I think we should explain." Looking shocked Mark replied, "We can't. It was supposed to be our secret."

"They're our friends. If we can't be honest with them who can we trust?" The rocker replied.

"Fine" the filmmaker muttered. "It all started about a year ago."

"I'd been painting my nails black for a gig" Roger continued. "I'd thought about getting more of a goth look and started experimenting with eye liner too. Then I saw Maureen had left some make up behind. It looked good and I suppose one thing led to another."

"I'd got back early," Mark took up the tale. "When I came to the loft I found Roger with a full face of make up on. It looked kind of cool so I joined in. We thought it would be funny to try cross dressing as our faces already looked like a girls."

"It was only ever meant to be a bit of fun one evening" Roger sighed wistfully. "But something just seemed to click being dressed like that."

"I don't know what makes it so addictive" Mark mused. "Sometimes when it was just us we'd put on drag, as if we couldn't go too long without it. As if we didn't want to deprive some part of ourselves we hadn't known existed."

"I'm sorry we haven't been able to tell you this before" Roger said looking up at the trusting faces of his friends. Well, all but one of them…

"Bullshit!" Angel exclaimed.

"You know we're lying?" Roger asked pretending to be affronted.

"Takes one to know one honey," Angel giggled. Roger and Mark collapsed into laughter soon followed by the others.

When everyone had calmed down Maureen asked "So what's the real story?"

"High School bet" Mark replied, which everyone agreed was far less exciting.

Roger let Mimi have his turn and she surveyed the group wondering how to make lots of them drink. She settled on "I have never fancied a woman."

The bottle got passed from Mark to Roger to Joanne to Maureen who started to put the bottle back down. That is until Collins grabbed it from her and downed the remaining vodka.

"Who? Who?" Maureen screeched almost bouncing in excitement.

"Angel" Collins replied simply looking into the eyes of his lover, whilst he moved her onto his lap.

Angel felt her eyes misting up as she looked back at him, her heart feeling like it would melt with love for this man. All of her life she had wanted to be a woman. She could remember sneaking into her sister's room as a child and reading her romance novels. Then Angel would lie awake at night imagining herself as one of the romantic heroines with her hero (who had always looked rather like Collins). Yet she had always resigned herself to the fact that these relationships were only for the biologically female. She could only dream. Even when she cross-dressed she was always seen as at most a drag queen. At least this was how she was seen by her past boyfriends- not that there had been many relationships and none of them meaningful. Sure they had flirted with her calling her a woman, but they had never treated her like one.

When Angel met Mimi it was the first time she felt like she could be herself. To Mimi she was a girlfriend who could be involved in a conversation about anything. Unlike the previous women she had met who still barred some topics of discussion seeing her as a man. Angel had been happy with Mimi and thought she was content with life, her dream determinedly kept locked away… until she met Collins. Finally she was able to be a girlfriend to a man. Of course there were occasions when she would want to dress as a man, often when she was drumming, but Collins was fine with that. In the past some of her boyfriends had wanted her to be in drag constantly, raise her voice ridiculously high and generally be a caricature of a woman. They saw her as a fantasy ignoring who she herself wanted to be. Collins was different though. He accepted her however she was. When she dressed like a man he still fancied her, admiring her muscles and short curly hair. When she wanted to be a woman he thought she was beautiful and he treated her like a lady: holding doors open, pulling out chairs for her, all the little things she never thought she would be able to experience. Yet finally here was a man who loved her for who she was.

"I love you" she whispered as she gently moved her hand through his hair. Pulling his head down their mouths met in gentle sweet kiss. She felt his lips move beneath hers as he murmured "I love you too my Angel."


	2. Truth or Dare?

Lost in the sweet kiss, Collins only just noticed a flicker of movement from the corner of his eye. Suddenly he remembered they were not alone, but had guests who at this moment were trying to creep subtly and quietly towards the door (if through rather exaggerated side-stepping). Sadly their attempt failed when Maureen slipped on the forgotten bottle and fell onto Joanne leaving them both sprawled on the floor.

As Collins burst out laughing, Angel looked round slightly disorientated. Seeing her guests leaving she turned into hostess mode saying, "you don't have to leave because of us".

Collins loved Angel, but sometimes she was too damn kind. He wanted nothing more than to scoop her into his arms, carry her to the bedroom and make slow sweet love to her; yet here she was not wanting to abandon her friends. Mark must have seen his expression because he said "no, really we've finished the Stoli anyway…"

"Of course you can stay!" Angel interrupted "We could always play something else with the bottle, how about truth or dare?" Seeing she meant it the others moved back to the circle.

"As long as you don't get off me just yet" Collins muttered and Angel's eyes widened slightly as she realised why. "I'm sorry honey" she whispered back, "Are you alright with this?"

Collins nodded. He understood why Angel was doing this: throughout her life she had been abandoned by nearly everyone she knew, so she had a fear of ever abandoning anyone herself. She did not to ever want to throw anyone out of her home. It was what had led to their first meeting, so he was glad of it. Nonetheless he knew she would have asked them to leave for him, but he would not ask it of her. He could wait.

Maureen grabbed the bottle to start and spun it. As it landed on Mark he immediately said "Dare". He didn't want Maureen asking him any personal questions. "Okay Mr Observant filmmaker. Do an impression of everyone in the group in less than a minute. We have to guess who they are, so you've got to do them well."

Mark jumped up and quickly began to moo loudly.

"Maureen" Collins called,

Mark them played air guitar to the tune of Musetta's Waltz.

"Roger" Mimi shouted

Next he sashayed forward as if on a catwalk.

"Angel" everyone chorused

Shaking his hips Mark did his best at some sexy dancing. Sadly his attempt was so bad that he lost some time as the others were laughing too much too speak. Roger eventually stuttered

"Mimi".

Quickly Mark began to tango. Although the others looked slightly confused Joanne cried "It's me!"

Mark then pretended to light up a joint and smoke it.

"Collins" Angel called, meaning Mark finished in just under the minute.

He spun the bottle and it landed on Angel or Collins- as she was still sitting on his lap it was hard to tell. "Ladies first" Collins said quickly. Angel chose truth not wanting to get up yet.

"Is there anything you like more about being a man than being a woman?"

Angel thought about this for a while before answering "I imagine it's easier to pee being a man." Mark spun the bottle for Angel and it landed on Roger who chose dare.

"I dare you not to get turned on" Angel begun as Roger's eyebrows raised in apprehension "whilst Mimi gives you a lap dance." Roger was sure this would be too hard. He knew from experience that Mimi was an expert lap dancer and knowing what it usually led to would make it difficult to keep his control.

With a naughty smile Mimi started to shake her hips as she moved towards him, the movement causing her short skirt to swish dangerously high. She moved to straddle him and as her dancing got sexier Roger tried to think of anything to keep his mind off what was happening. How much rent he had to pay, how they had protested about the rent, how fiery and beautiful Mimi had looked while protesting, no that wasn't working…Umm going to the Life Café, getting a beer at the Life Café, Mimi dancing on the table at the Life Café. Sensing he was close to breaking Mimi turned round and Roger was presented with the best ass below 14th street. Roger clenched his hands into fists and he tried to stop himself caressing her. Seeing his pain Angel allowed the dare to end and Roger pulled Mimi down next to him threatening "just you wait until tonight!"

Roger spun the bottle and it landed on Collins. Fixing him with a look he said considering, "Well there is only one man here who's never worn drag" Collins gasped not knowing what to say, but not really liking the idea. "Angel if you'd be so kind."

"I'd love to" Angel replied giggling and ran off to fetch some make up. "Traitor!" Collins called after her.

"Angel I wouldn't have expected this of you" he groaned dramatically as Angel came hurrying back. Carefully she put a black wavy wig over his beanie (she knew better than to try and remove it) and smoothed out the curls with a brush. Mimi started to sort through the makeup whilst Mark made sure he was capturing it all on film.

"What sort of colours are you thinking?" Angel asked Mimi.

"Defiantly pinky" she replied.

"And to think I used to like you!" Collins scowled.

"What about foundation?" Mimi continued ignoring his comment.

"Here, use this." Joanne suggested finding her foundation from her bag.

"No" Collins feebly protested one more time before Angel had an idea. She straddled him and rocked forward to start applying the makeup making him groan for an entirely different reason. Her touch was gentle as she smoothed on the cream, carefully avoiding the goatee. Next was pink blusher and eyeshadow, mascara and then she reached for the pink lipstick.

"No fucking way!" Collins objected. But Angel had a plan. Heavily she applied the lipstick to her own lips and leaned forward until she was a centimetre away from his.

"Are you sure?" She whispered her warm breath caressing his lips making them part slightly. "I think you'd like the way I apply it" her lips slowly brushed his. "Want to try?" She kissed him softly then backed away, his head following hers wanting more.

"You win." He gave in with a groan and Angel put a fresh coat of the lipstick on before kissing him passionately, crushing their lips together to transfer the lipstick. Luckily this wasn't difficult as it was a cheap brand that rubbed off easily. Angel moved back, but Collins had a different idea. His hand moved to the back of her head and pulling her close he made the kiss deeper. Her hands had gone to his shoulders to push him away, but instead she found them making light circles on his chest.

"Guys. Room. Get it!" Mimi exclaimed. This had the desired effect and getting up Angel pulled Collins to his feet to find him some of her clothes. On the way to their room he spun the bottle and it landed on Maureen who also chose a dare. "Okay, go into the corridor and the next person you see tell them that you love them." Maureen was not fazed by this but went straight outside, whilst the others moved closer to the door to hear.

After a couple of minutes a man returned to his apartment a few doors down, slightly surprised to find a strange woman waiting outside. "Do I know you?" he asked suspiciously.

"No, but I know you. In fact I think I'm in love with you!" Maureen overacted moving in for an embrace to find the door slammed in her face. "Please I'll do anything! I'll be your slave! Your every wish I will obey." She called laughing, then she returned to the apartment where she got a kiss from her girlfriend who was relieved it had been a man she had flirted with. Joanne knew it was only a dare, but she really didn't want to hear Maureen declare her love for another woman.

Spinning the bottle it landed on Roger who decided to go for a truth.

"Where's the weirdest place you've ever done it." Roger thought about this for a moment before his expression darkened and he remained silent. Then he turned and walked out onto the balcony. Mimi knew what this meant- she had seen this a few times. He was thinking about April. He would go into himself: refuse to speak, refuse to go anywhere, and refuse to do anything. She was having more success at getting him to open up to her and move on, but it was still a struggle. Sighing she looked out the window hoping this dark mood would not last long.


	3. Spin The Bottle

For once Maureen was being appreciative of Joanne. Her girlfriend was lying across the couch with her head on her lap as she stroked her hair. It seemed that being reminded of Roger's loss of April had made her think more about losing Joanne- not something she wanted. Or at least that's what she knew once they had separated; when they were together she had trouble accepting Joanne for who she was and simultaneously wondering why Joanne couldn't accept her.

Mimi and Mark were having a less pleasant time. They looked out to where Roger was smoking on the balcony.

"Sometimes I get angry at April" Mimi admitted.

"You never met her" Mark pointed out.

"But look at what she did to Roger" she countered. "How could she leave him like that? She just abandoned him!"

"Be careful Mimi. You don't know all the facts about what happened."

"Of course I don't" she replied bitterly "nobody says anything. It's this big secret that we're not allowed to mention." Seeing his face she continued. "No I don't mean it like that. I'm not trying to pry into all the details, I just think that if we make it into this big taboo subject how is anyone ever meant to get over it? I'm going to go to him."

She climbed onto the balcony and going up to him asked "Got a light?" holding out a cigarette to him.

Reluctantly he lit it for her hoping she would go, but she didn't. He was going to try and make her leave when he noticed something. "You're shivering" he muttered removing his jacket to drape it over her shoulders. His voice worried her- it was so empty and soulless.

"Roger this isn't good for you thinking like this." She began.

"So now I'm not allowed to think about her?" Roger snapped angrily turning to face her. "You want me to forget she even existed, is that what you want? We can pretend we're this happy little couple who don't have any baggage…"

"Of course not! We both have baggage…"

"How can you ask this of me? I loved her and you want me to act like her death doesn't mean a fucking thing!"

Mimi stood her ground as he stood over her, eyes flashing, "I never said that! Of course you remember her and love her, but you can't live in the past."

"I did love her. I _still_ love her. I still want to be with her, I still feel guilty for being with someone else like I'm abandoning her." His anguished words tore at her heart.

"NO! You're not abandoning her. She abandoned you. She found out you'd both got AIDS and left you to it. Didn't even tell you in person."

"Don't you dare speak about April like that!" Roger shouted shoving her forcefully away so she fell on the floor.

"Roger" she said more softly to Roger's back. "She decided to move on. You're not betraying her by moving on too." He made no response so she continued "do you think April would have wanted you to feel like this? If she loved you she'd have wanted you to be happy. There is no future, there is no past, live this moment as if it were your last."

The words were getting through to Roger and knowing what her next words would be he spoke along with her "there's only us, there's only this, forget regret or life is yours to miss." He turned round, held out his hand to help her up and pulled her into a long embrace where they each comforted the other.

"I'm sorry" they both murmured at the same time, then they went back into the apartment.

Angel and Mark had been watching them unnoticed from the door during the fight in case they needed to intervene, but had thought it best to let the two be alone. As the couple came back in Roger went to Mark and gave him a hug assuring him that he was okay, whilst Mimi did the same to Angel. When they had joined the two on the couch Angel changed the mood by announcing,

"Now it is time for me to present Miss Collins" With a flourish she pushed open the door to the bedroom… and nothing happened.

"Miss Collins" she tried again. This time they heard a muffled "no" in response.

She walked into their room to where he was still sitting at her dresser and said "honey you've got to come out. Everyone's waiting to see you dressed up in drag"

"I'd rather stay in here and undress from our drag" he countered as he moved a hand up under her skirt to rub her ass. His other hand started to push her top up and he kissed the skin he revealed. As Angel rubbed the back of his head she couldn't stop a small groan escaping. Did they really have to go out there now? They could wait abit longer she thought.

The sound of someone (suspiciously like Mimi) clearing their throat loudy jolted her back to the present.

"Honey we've really got to go" she said more firmly than she felt and started to redo his lipstick: Angel did have a thing about lipstick having to be perfect. Collins found it adorable if slightly pedantic. He reached for one of her wipes to remove the lipstick he had smudged on her stomach, the sensations of this making it difficult for Angel to apply the lipstick carefully.

As she announced him for the third time Collins walked out of the bedroom to the cheers of his friends. He was wearing one of Angel's green wrap around skirts, her red jacket and some orange and white leggings that were abit big for her (especially now he was stretching them). He'd managed to squeeze his feet into some of her high heeled sandals and he had a black wig on his head. Amid the cheers he sashayed across the room using it as a catwalk, but giving Mark a glare for filming him.

"I just can't do that as well as you" he complained to Angel as he walked back to her struggling with the heels. "Can I go change now?" Looking down at her Collins tried an Angel pout. Though she tried to deny it was anything like her the others all laughed at the resemblance.

"You can't change now, I've thought of another game we need to play" Maureen decreed.

"Why can't I change for it?" Collins asked annoyed.

"It's spin the bottle. It'll make it funnier for you to kiss someone wearing drag".

"I'm always a fan of kissing people wearing drag" he countered "and by people I mean Angel" he quickly added.

As he spun the bottle it landed on Roger who did not look happy.

"Pucker up baby" Collins drawled crawling towards him. They kissed quickly before Roger broke apart to spin the bottle. He was relieved when it landed on Mimi who he kissed far more enthusiastically.

"No tongues unless you have to kiss a second time." Maureen declared making Mimi stick her tongue out at her

Mimi then had to kiss Maureen. Both got rather into it to the distress of their partners who started to pull them away. When Maureen spun the bottle it landed on Angel and they had a short kiss before Angel drew back.

As the bottle landed on Roger she moved towards him and kissed him gently knowing he wasn't really comfortable with the kiss. When he spun the bottle he groaned to see it landed on Collins again.

"Tongues!" Maureen called gleefully receiving a death stare from them both.

"You have a thing for drag queens tonight." Mimi teased her boyfriend. Roger took a big swig from his beer and decided to just go for it. He leaned forward quickly pushing Collins onto his back and lay on top of him. Then he french-kissed him roughly to cheers from the others and once Collins had got over his shock he joined in for a few moments before pushing him away.

"You weigh far more than Angel" he complained.

Next the bottle landed on Joanne, but before they could kiss Collins complained that he needed to fix his lipstick in a perfect imitation of Angel after they had kissed.

"Who was that supposed to be?" Angel asked, amidst laughter from the others.

"I'm waiting for a kiss" Joanne pointed out.

"Is she always so forthright when she's flirting?" Collins asked his best friend who assured him she was.

The two had a quick kiss and Joanne then had to kiss Mark. An awkward silence passed before they nervously moved together. They had an uncomfortable kiss which lasted less than a second and Mark spun the bottle quickly. It fell on Mimi who sashayed towards him, straddled him and kissed him. Knowing that Roger would not be enjoying himself they both went for the kiss to give him a show.

Mimi giggled at Roger's scowl as they moved apart.

"Don't look so sulky" she teased.

"He just knows he won't be able to match up to that kiss" Mark smirked.

"Watch me" he responded and swept Mimi into his arms determined to give her the kiss of her life. He did. She was lost in the kiss, one hand stroking his hair the other reaching under his jacket and curling round his back. Vaguely she was aware of her best friend calling "Get a room!" then she felt Roger's arms move under her as he lifted her up and carried her towards the bedroom. He had to break the contact of their lips to see where they were going so she passionately kissed his neck.

"Not our room!" Collins shout jerked her back to the present along with the shove he gave Roger away from the door.

"It's your turn" Maureen complained to Mimi tugging her out of Roger's arms to hand her the bottle.

Reluctantly Mimi spun the bottle, not happy when it landed on Maureen. She french-kissed her briefly, no longer in such a playful mood.

Next Maureen had to kiss Joanne to the delight of them both. The no tongue rule was immediately forgotten as they rolled down on the floor together. Roger pulled Mimi back towards him so she was straddling him on the couch and resumed his quest to give her the best kiss of her life.

Sighing Angel looked around the room. "There goes that game."

"Does that mean I can take off my drag now?" Collins asked hopefully. When Angel agreed he began to perform a strip tease.

"Not here!" Mark called hurriedly covering his eyes.

"Fine" Collins said and picked Angel up by throwing her over his shoulder. As he walked to the bedroom with her he added "and I never mentioned putting anything else on."

"We have guests" she exclaimed, but her protests went unheard.

Mark sat back on the couch and took out his beloved camera, might as well get some footage- he wasn't going to be getting anything else tonight.

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